


where did we go wrong?

by bbyhjuns



Category: Cravity (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:07:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29266980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bbyhjuns/pseuds/bbyhjuns
Summary: "i don’t remember falling in love with you. i don’t remember much anymore, but i do remember the moment i realised you’d fallen out of love with me"
Relationships: Kang Minhee & Koo Jungmo, Kang Minhee/Koo Jungmo
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	where did we go wrong?

**Author's Note:**

> wanted to write an angst but honestly this angst isn't that sad; i left the ending like this so you all could take it back home and interpret on your own! enjoy reading~

"so... how have you been?"

minhee breaks the daunting silence, his pair of eyes looking at the man beside him.

his hair much shorter and in a different shade of brown from the last time minhee had last saw him, jungmo simply shook his head, gave a smile and replied softly, "still the same, work's got me tied up"

the younger can't help but to notice how different jungmo looked - from the way he was dressing to how he spoke - was it the air there? 

minhee shakes off this thought and continues, "how is it there?"

jungmo smiles again, then holds up his phone to show minhee his lockscreen - a picture of a mountain in Switzerland.

"it's great, the place is amazing, the people are nice too"

minhee hums in response and takes in the silence again. yet amidst this silence, there was still a sense of warmth that he found comforting.

jungmo clears his throat then turns to face the younger, "how about you? has college been alright?" 

minhee's eyes soften, then replies, "you know, final year stuff... it's been stressful, but i'm coping alright"

he pauses, as he hesitates whether or not to proceed. he then takes a deep breath and continues, "but it's definitely been harder for me to cope since you left"

jungmo's body stiffens up, and he says nothing else but looks at minhee with his guilt-struck eyes. 

but minhee doesn't stop there, he sighs and continues, "you know... i've actually been thinking a lot... where exactly did we go wrong then?"

jungmo doesn't say anything again, an expression of remorse taking over his face. he sighs too, then stares off into the distance.

"i don't know, minhee... things just... didn't work out"

minhee then lets out a small scoff, "but weren't things going so well?"

jungmo hesitates to reply, but deep in his heart he knew exactly that the answer to this question was an obvious yes.

"you are right... perhaps too well - maybe that's why things turned out this way" he finally replies after finding out the right words to say.

this time, the younger doesn't reply. he then leans back on the bench, then continues, "remember when we first met?" 

he notices a slight smile appear on jungmo's face. the older replies, "of course, how could i not?"

_minhee tries his best not to panic as he quickly tosses the dirty clothes from his bed into the laundry basket. his mind goes blank as he tries to tidy up his desk, but no matter how much he rearranged its contents, it still looked messy._

_"god, calm down" hyeongjun makes a comment as he stands at minhee's door frame, observing his panicked state._

_minhee lets out an anxious cry, "how am i supposed to calm down when they'll be coming here in one hour. why didn't they give me a warning a day earlier or something."_

_hyeongjun shakes his head, then enters minhee's room to help tidy his bed up._

_just a few minutes ago, minhee's parents had called to tell him that they were going to pay him a surprise visit at his dorm after not seeing their beloved son for a year._

_minhee, who had faked an all-so-perfect life for the past year to his parents, was now panicking and unsure of what to do. if his parents saw the mess and state he was in, they were sure to be disappointed. and that was the last thing he wanted them to feel._

_yet, one thing immediately became the biggest worry - he had also lied that he got a boyfriend. knowing how excited his parents were to meet this very "boyfriend" of his for months now, he didn't know how else he was going to find a boyfriend in just one hour._

_"do i put up an ad on instagram right now? how am i going to find a boyfriend?" minhee whines again, now burying his face into his hands. hyeongjun lets out a sigh, then pats minhee on the shoulders, "i'm sorry dude i'd be your fake boyfriend but too bad your parents already know me.. it won't work"_

_minhee lets out another groan._

_at that moment, the doorbell to their dorm rings as hyeongjun quickly makes his way to open it._

_at the door stood a light brown-haired male, drowned in an oversized knitted pullover and skinny jeans. he wore glasses and he had his arms put together in front of him. the polite male bowed a little before greeting hyeongjun, "hello! i'm jungmo and i recently just moved in to this level, i just wanted to say hi"_

_hyeongjun stares at the man, greets him back and introduces himself. he then shouts for minhee, whom reluctantly leaves his room._

_as soon as he catches eye contact with jungmo, minhee stops in his tracks and pauses. if minhee could explain how he felt back then, it would be love at first sight._

_he introduces himself softly as he observes how bubbly and open jungmo seemed. at that moment, he blurted out, "actually, jungmo, do you have time to spare?"_

_jungmo nods his head immediately._

_"mind if you help me with something?" minhee continues. jungmo, without even pondering, agrees with him._

_so that was how minhee had invited jungmo to their dorms that day to fill him in on his plan - to ask jungmo to be his fake boyfriend. jungmo, visibly taken aback and shocked at first, seemed reluctant to help him out. of course, being a boyfriend to someone he just met minutes ago all seemed so absurd to jungmo._

_but after witnessing how desperate minhee looked and sounded, he gave in. with only one hour to spare, jungmo tried his best to remember and understand everything about minhee then - all his likes and dislikes, his favourite things to do and all that._

_looking back, this was probably the weirdest encounters jungmo has had with making a new friend. but he was glad it happened, for this small encounter blossomed into something so much more._

"not gonna lie, i thought you were crazy back then" jungmo laughs as he thinks back about how their first encounter with each other went.

minhee laughs in return and replies, "i would think i was crazy too"

he then smiles, "but you did a great job that day, my parents completely believed it"

jungmo gives a smug smile then jokingly says, "of course, guess you can say i was made to be boyfriend material"

the two then laugh over the statement, then soon silence takes over again. like before, the silence feels comforting. to minhee, it felt like the old days again - the way the two would always spend their nights together in silence, simply enjoying the solace of each other's presence.

minhee then clears his throat, "so.. when did you realise you were actually in love with me?"

jungmo lets out a big sigh, "still as straightforward as ever, huh?" he stares up at the sky to think and continues, "i actually don't know... it just happened, you know?"

a smile appears on minhee's face, heart warming up. because it was the same for him - he couldn't remember exactly when or how he realised he had fallen for jungmo that way - it just happened. 

_"this fake boyfriend thing is still ongoing? it's been 2 months" hyeongjun says to minhee as he expresses a disgusted look at minhee's wide smile._

_minhee, now too busy and focused on replying to jungmo's usual flirty messages, half-heartedly answers, "yeah my parents keep wanting to talk to him so what else can we do?"_

_a no reply from hyeongjun then makes minhee lift his head up from his phone to look at the latter. now staring at him with furrowed brows and a frown, hyeongjun snatches the phone away from minhee and then sits in front of him._

_"tell me honestly, do you like him?" hyeongjun asks._

_minhee, startled by his sudden seriousness, lets out a nervous laugh and replies, "of course i do, he's nice and-"_

_hyeongjun uses his finger to push minhee's forehead, "in a romantic way, you idiot. do you like him that way"_

_minhee now pauses, and words fail to come out from his mouth. his mind enters a state of blankness, and he suddenly feels the fast thumping of his heart._

_"do i like him?" this was a question minhee had never thought of. was it because it simply didn't cross his mind, or was it because he had been avoiding all these while? he couldn't tell._

_but what he knew that was for the past few months he had had with jungmo were nothing less than happiness and joy. with jungmo around, things just seemed so much easier. his presence was something minhee looked forward to everyday, and the daily texts they exchange could instantly put a smile on minhee's face._

_excitement slowly turned into joy, and that joy slowly turned into comfort as well. this was something minhee had felt throughout the two months. was it love? was it admiration? minhee had never thought about it - he just simply wanted to keep it going._

_so with hyeongjun asking him this question now, he didn't know what or how to answer._

_does he like jungmo?_

_"dude, are you okay?" hyeongjun snaps him back into reality. minhee sighs, "i don't know... i don't know what this feeling is"_

_he hears the notification sound ring from his phone, and immediately, he thinks to himself, "is it jungmo?"_

_at that moment, this alone was enough to answer hyeongjun's question._

_he pauses for a while before answering again, "okay.. maybe i do"_

jungmo watched the stars sparkle as his own mind drifted off to the vivid memory of realisation as well.

_jungmo sits restless, head heavy as he tried his best not to drift off to the monotonous words coming from his laptop. just as he closes his eyes, he feels a smack to his back and immediately, he jumps up and curses at the perpetrator, none other than wonjin._

_"i don't get how you still can get good grades when you're always dozing off in class" the younger speaks, shaking his head as he watched jungmo slowly drift off to sleep._

_jungmo lets out a small groan and shoos him away with his hands, "stop bothering me"_

_wonjin doesn't move an inch, instead, he casually asks, "so, how's your dear boyfriend doing?"_

_jungmo immediately opens his eyes and stiffens up, then replies while trying to play it cool, "oh come on, you know he's not my real boyfriend"_

_wonjin lets out a scoff, "but you two sure do act like one"_

_jungmo doesn't say anything. instead, he feels his cheeks burning up. a million thoughts then run through his mind - for weeks now, he's been questioning whether or not he's actually fallen in love with minhee._

_he doesn't remember how exactly it happened, but one day he had woken up with the strong urge to see minhee - and for the rest of the day, his mind was only filled with him. perhaps it must have been the many "dates" that they've been on, or maybe it was just the amount of the time the two had been spending together - being apart from minhee just didn't feel right to jungmo anymore. he somehow needed to see him, and every second with him made jungmo feel a certain spark he never once did before._

_was this love? he didn't know._

_but what he knew then was that it was developing into something so much more than a "fake boyfriend"._

_jungmo sighs, then looks at wonjin in desperation, "is it that obvious?"_

_the younger looks up from his phone to stare at him before nodding his head, "what's obvious? that you two are head over heels with one another? yes"_

_jungmo feels his heart thumping again his chest loudly, as he slowly starts to drift off into the bubble in his mind again._

minhee lets out a small laugh as he thought back about the old days - oh how naive the two seemed. with a smile still on his face, he then softly said, "and i remember how you made us official too. it still surprises me till today"

he watches as jungmo's face immediately turns a bright pink before he covers his face with both palms, "i still can't believe i did that either"

_jungmo holds minhee's hands in his as they take a walk down the riverside, taking in the fresh air and the cold breeze. too used to their fake dating antics now, holding hands have now become a normal thing._

_minhee clears his throat before asking softly, avoiding eye contact with jungmo, "so... what exactly are we?"_

_jungmo stops in his tracks. confused but getting the hint of minhee's question, he turns minhee to face him, "what do YOU think we are, minhee?"_

_minhee struggles to find an answer, still actively avoiding eye contact with the older. suddenly, there is an air of awkwardness between the two._

_jungmo then brushes his finger against minhee's cheek, as his eyes fall to his soft, pink lips._

_"minhee, what if i say i like you?"_

_minhee's eyes widen as he takes a big nervous gulp. his hand reaches up to hold jungmo's as he continues, "then that's great, because i like you-"_

_before he could even finish his sentence, jungmo had now placed his own lips against minhee's. taken aback, minhee freezes for a few seconds, but he slowly loosens up as he feels jungmo's touch against his._

_just like that, the two had officially got rid of the term "fake" from their dictionary. in their worlds now, they were each other's boyfriends, best friends and everything more._

minhee laughs at jungmo's reaction as he continues, "but hey, thank you for doing that. i don't think i would have the courage to do it"

jungmo smiles in return and minhee feels his heart flutter a little inside; this was the very smile that kept him going for years just some time back. it took him a while for him to get over, but seeing this comforting smile still made minhee feel the same old tingling sensation again.

"thank you for making us happen, jungmo" he continues.

jungmo shakes his head and smiles again, but this time his eyes fills up with a look of sadness and regret, "and thank you for making me so happy when we were still us, minhee"

he continues when minhee doesn't reply, "i was truly very happy with you, every single day."

minhee smiles and tries to bury the rising pain from within him, "and i was too"

jungmo then retrieves his set of keys from his bag and shows minhee the little keychain - the one minhee had got for the both of them to match previously.

"honestly, i still can't bear to remove it, i didn't just want to erase our memories like that you know. after all, you did make me really happy" 

minhee looks up at jungmo then down to the keychain again. on the zip to his favourite bag back home, sat the very same keychain - he couldn't bear to get rid of it either. 

"i'm glad you still have it" he replies. 

there is a pause of silence again.

minhee takes a deep breath, "so... when did it all happen? do you remember?"

there was no need for more words or elaboration, jungmo immediately knew what he was referring to.

_"if happiness is a social construct...."_

_"dude why are you typing at your phone so aggressively, focus in lecture" hyeongjun whispers to minhee, clearly distracted by how the latter had been tapping on his phone screen nonstop for the past few minutes._

_minhee doesn't reply, but there is a frown sitting on his face - something that isn't commonly seen. when he sees that minhee isn't bulging at all, hyeongjun then snatches his phone away._

_this in turn causes minhee to raise his voice, and immediately the lecture hall becomes quiet as all the attention is turned to the two. the lecturer shoots them a look a disapproval before continuing. minhee, now back to his senses, lowers his head in embarrassment._

_"what was that for?" he hisses at hyeongjun, who is equally as embarrassed now. but hyeongjun glares at him and replies, "what is up with you? why are you so distracted today?"_

_he watches as minhee tries to change the topic, but he eventually sighs and lays back to his seat._

_"it's jungmo. he's just been acting differently the past few days..."_

_hyeongjun lifts his eyebrows up, waiting for him to continue. that must also be why minhee has been more grumpy and cranky the past few days, hyeongjun thinks to himself as he links all of these together in his head._

_"i don't know... it seems as though he doesn't want to talk to me anymore"_

_hyeongjun hums in response before replying, "did you two have a fight recently or anything?"_

_minhee shakes his head, then ruffles his hair in frustration, "no, that's exactly what's making me more confused. nothing happened yet he's suddenly acting like this"_

_"did you ask him? what did he say?"_

_"stress, and that he's tired. but i'm tired too, i just don't understand him"_

_this was the first time ever that hyeongjun had ever seen minhee this frustated and stressed._

"i'm sorry i pushed you away without any words, minhee" jungmo apologises now, a tone of guilt in his words.

"but i still don't get it. why and when did it happen? did i do something wrong?" minhee asks. these words have been stuck in his head ever since it happened, but now with so much courage, he was finally able to ask it.

jungmo sighs and closes his eyes, "i'm sorry... i realised that it wasn't what i wanted"

_jungmo takes another shot of the glass down as he lets his thoughts drown within the loud music. the flashing lights and noisy atmosphere did not seem to bother him at all. instead, it all seemed like the perfect distraction he well needed._

_he turns on his phone to stare at his lockscreen - a photo of him and minhee - then lets out another frustrated groan._

_why am i feeling this way? he asks himself for the nth time this night._

_adoration and affection slowly turned into mundaneness and a chore to jungmo - the joy he used to feel while being with minhee was now far gone, and he doesn't know what exactly sparked this change._

_what he knew was that he felt terrible; terrible for feeling this way, and terrible for treating minhee this way._

_the way jungmo felt nothing more than just a pair of arms while hugging minhee now scared him. why was he losing feelings for minhee?_

_and it made him feel worse knowing that minhee was still the same bright boy as before; always so excited to see him and to shower him with love. like a puppy, minhee was always ready to give jungmo love. yet now with the empty void growing bigger in his heart, jungmo felt bad that he was receiving more than he was giving - and he could barely continue this on anymore._

_so for the past week, he's been deliberately pushing minhee away, avoiding wanting to see him and giving him cold replies. perhaps he should have ended it fast and sharp, but the jungmo at that time couldn't bear to do it._

_the sight of minhee still trying and pushing made jungmo feel an agonishing pain in his chest, and though his feelings had faded off, he still felt a sense of lingering to the younger. was it obligation, or was it still love? jungmo didn't know. but he didn't want to cause minhee anymore pain._

"and why did you suddenly think that?" minhee asks softly.

jungmo sighs again, his eyes tearing up a little, "my feelings started to fade for you, minhee. till today, i don't know why. but it's not your fault, trust me"

minhee lets out a small scoff and says jokingly, but also sacarstically, "guess i must have been boring"

jungmo shakes his head and raises his voice, "minhee, please..." 

minhee sighs in return then looks away too, wiping his tears subtly so that jungmo could not see, "i'm sorry"

the cold air hits them in the face and the two sit in silence again. jungmo then breaks it,

"maybe i shouldn't have ended it. maybe i should have tried harder. i'm sorry i was a dick, minhee"

minhee says nothing.

_"what do you mean you're leaving next month?" minhee says, voice cracking, unable to believe everything that he just heard._

_"i'm sorry, minhee, i really am." jungmo replies, not wanting to say anymore._

_"fuck, jungmo, you can't just end our relationship like this and drop the bomb in my face that you're leaving to another country just like that. do you know how i feel right now?" minhee replies, almost shouting as the tears keep strolling down his face._

_he continues before jungmo can even speak, "do you know how much i've suffered the past few weeks? do you know how much it sucked knowing that you were on the other side of the phone but no one was picking up or replying?"_

_he lets out a big cry, "jungmo, i still love you so much but i can tell you don't feel the same way anymore and that fucking sucks"_

_jungmo is in tears now too as he feels minhee's words pierce through his own heart. but who was he to refute? every word he said was true; jungmo shouldn't have done all of that. what he thought was best for them only ended up hurting minhee more._

_he didn't know what to say now; should he comfort minhee? or should he apologise? no matter what he says, minhee would br hurt. he felt like he wasn't in any position to do or say anything. after all, it was his fault._

_minhee must have sensed this, for he simply took in a deep breath and wiped his tears, "you can leave now. i still don't understand but thank you, jungmo. thank you for making me happy at least"_

jungmo feels shivers down his spine as he remembers that day and that very sight of minhee - one he does not want to remember. 

"but maybe you leaving for Switzerland wasn't a bad thing... that gave me time to move on" minhee says.

jungmo nods his head as he understands, glad that he feels this way.

_"so... you're leaving tomorrow?" minhee says to jungmo, both of them avoiding eye contact with each other._

_after that day, the two had stopped keeping in contact. until just last week, where minhee had sent a text to jungmo, sharing about how he felt. with that, the two had reached a closure and though bittersweet, they had promised and decided to remain as friends._

_jungmo nods his head and responds with a small hum, "yeah, early in the morning"_

_this was their first time in a long time finally meeting up after that day, but to minhee's eyes, jungmo looked no different._

_"that's great, i hope you find your happiness there" minhee replies._

_jungmo smiles and thanks him. he clears his throat and stretches his hand out to minhee, "and i hope you continue to do here too"_

_minhee takes his hand in his and shakes it. jungmo then reaches out to give him a hug, and minhee's body immediately reacts to the familiar touch. though the sadness comes rushing in again, this time, there was also comfort._

_"see you when you are back"_

"it's been 6 months, it's crazy how time flies, isn't it?" minhee says.

jungmo nods his head and smiles, "yeah, and i'm glad you're doing so much better, minhee"

he pauses, "and i'm sorry, always"

minhee shakes his head and pats jungmo's thigh to assure him, "i'm glad we can talk about what happened so comfortably now,

because honestly, i don’t remember falling in love with you. i don’t remember much anymore, but i do remember the moment i realised you’d fallen out of love with me"

minhee clears his throat, "and that realisation has been haunting me for the past few months"

he smiles at jungmo, "but i'm glad i could find an answer today, jungmo"

the older rests his hand on minhee's and gives him a comforting smile. his words emits sadness from within jungmo, but he doesn't let it show.

"maybe, if the time comes, we could try us again"

minhee's eyes widen at this word, but he lets out a small chuckle,

"yes, maybe we could"


End file.
